Poem

[Euskadi]

i wrote it this morning, i'm sorry if the translation isn't the best ... :S

Nine months to wait in the dark
To go out under projectors
Already blinded we cannot see the horizon
All this horror which we censor us
Educated in the values of the respect
We already form us as a soldier
20 years of preparation for 40 years of custom
Only some years to realize
That we are already made obsolete
Loan to be served of puts in poor animals
Without having had the time
To see the colors of the rainbow
We just saw the black color
That of the work
On the brink of being thrown
We draw up the balance sheet
To understand that everything goes too fast
That somebody controls the clock
And when we understand
He transforms us into garbage
Without leaving of track
The tired sweep second hand it stops
Then we change piles to begin again, again and again
Without ever finishing
Unlimited cycle
Here the ASS does not exist
When the light does not shine anymore
We do not repair it
We change it
All this to return where from we come
In the dark


Euska

 

[KrazyFire]

maybe sounds better in french

 

[Euskadi]

it does

 

[SBSP]

maybe sounds better in french

that was a VERRRRRRRY kind post krazy! u are a gentleman!

 

[ViRuS]

no romance YES SEX

 

[FiliX78]

no romance YES SEX

u should say YES SHAMALE SEX

 

[SabbatH]

I prefer prose, but it's still nice Euska New Baudelaire :laugh:

BTW: 1)Whats the main keynote of that poem because I cant get it ?
2) Who is the lyrical subject ?

 

[KrazyFire]

thats why it sound better in french hihi

 

[Carlzone]

you forgot to sign : "Brainfuck by Euska"

You like RnB, Rap and hiphop do you?

 

[ViRuS]

u should say YES SHAMALE SEX

yes i should say yes shemale sex for Filix

 

[Euskadi]

I prefer prose, but it's still nice Euska New Baudelaire :laugh:

BTW: 1)Whats the main keynote of that poem because I cant get it ?
2) Who is the lyrical subject ?

mhhh, it may seem to be wierd and i cna understand, we can see how ppl are sad of their work, everyday you wake up and you go at school. for what ? become what you think is good for you, get more money or do something you like, both is an illusion. They don't rly force us to become what they want but it's near.

 

[SabbatH]

Thanks now I understand more :yes4:

You are like Horace with his "Carpe diem"...but maybe less optimistic

 

[Carlzone]

Thanks now I understand more :yes4:

You are like a Horace with his "Carpe diem"...but maybe less optimistic

lol,
I would say that the lyrical subject is depressive, and far far away from any optimism... and its not Carpe Diem.
Carpe Diem means seize the day, so it also means to go work and do something useful.
"Lets go back to the dark" is just very pessimistic,
Sentences like "Form us as soldiers" make me think that you
have an influence from Rap and RNB Music...
Your poem could be put into the industrialization from the 18th century, where the people were doing hard jobs etc.
But today? In France with your fucking 35hours a week?
No one can say today, that his job is dominating his life and
maybe his joy of life, except when you have No Friends, No Family etc.
And it is quite ironical that a student who goes to school, and maybe never worked and doesn't know how it is to do REAL work already says that work sucks ^^

It's not a personal critic against you Euska dude, but against your Poem...

and btw. if you think that school is difficult or real life, than
I am sorry dude, but the economic depression with all this weird
billions and trillions of dollars will soon kick our ass.
I mean where do the billions come from?

The way we live, the way we act with our money caused this
depression and I think that it can't continue like this.
Poems about the economic depression would be the most interesting I think.

 

[ViRuS]

if some1 criticize your art that means you are on right way

keep on dude

 

[Carlzone]

if some1 criticize your art that means you are on right way

keep on dude

lol, its like
"If someone criticises you that you don't go to
school, you are on the right way!"

"If you wank in public and someone criticises you,
you are on the right way"

So criticism means to you, that you continue the way you started?
What is my critic for then?

 

[ViRuS]

if some1 criticize your art that means you are on right way

keep on dude

/\
||
||
||
||

lol, its like
"If someone criticises you that you don't go to
school, you are on the right way!"

"If you wank in public and someone criticises you,
you are on the right way"

So criticism means to you, that you continue the way you started?
What is my critic for then?

blue : are they art ?

 

[Carlzone]

So criticism means to you, that you continue the way you started?
What is my critic for then?

I just added some examples to my sentence... ;D

 

[Euskadi]

yes it's a depressive text and we can say we have a nice life where everything is beauty, good for you. Continu to agree with our system, the most of ppl think like you, but what is on the right way ? Even the economy isn't whereas they all care about it, coz it's the only thing which have value. Do they care we work ? and 35 hours peer week is for "good job only" . They just care about the power they have, feel the atomic bomb they can use when they want, speak on tv, and reassure us our situation will be better. Nobody see it never improves ? They aren't in the same shit then us, the human being is made like that, so sad god

 

[Carlzone]

yes it's a depressive text and we can say we have a nice life where everything is beauty, good for you. Continu to agree with our system, the most of ppl think like you, but what is on the right way ? Even the economy isn't whereas they all care about it, coz it's the only thing which have value. Do they care we work ? and 35 hours peer week is for "good job only" . They just care about the power they have, feel the atomic bomb they can use when they want, speak on tv, and reassure us our situation will be better. Nobody see it never improves ? They aren't in the same shit then us, the human being is made like that, so sad god

Atomic Bomb doesn't play an important role today,
much more important are natural resources like Petrol, Gas etc.
These resources are influencing the economy of a country.
The World isn't controlled by Atomic Bombs anymore
(that was the Cold War)
today the world is controlled by money, banks, resources.

Who should use an atomic bomb today? (except the Iran for
religious ideals due to their actual "dictator"!)

And of course you are desperate, all you need is an ideology,
a philosophy of life. And apparently it's making you feel
comfortable to say that it is the fault of the government,
the media, the society etc. (your) life sucks or seems
to be senseless because of them is just too easy.
School is independent, teacher can be ass holes and unfair,
but it is after all giving you what you give to school.
Laziness is not the fault of the teacher, the society or something,
it is you.

according to your post I would say that you come from
a lower-middle Class, your parents work their ass off, and have
a low or average income. They/you are angry on Sarkozy and
unhappy with your situation. You think that the system is
against you.

And what would be the right options according to you?

Because in your poem there is no right way, you just go back
to the dark... well okay, but that doesn't solve the problem.
And a poem has a message normally, like how things can become
better, or why things happened.
But to give up and go back to the dark, is just too easy and now
honourable.

And WMs you don't have anything to say? ^^
I mean this discussion is about the way you think about the actual moment...

 

[Euskadi]

i'm happy in my life i have no problem, i have a nice childood, nice parents...
i just saw the sadness in a lost glence, have you already dreamed about another world ? a perfect world. We all know that the human being have many defect, and we can't change our gens.
I wouldn't be surprised if a country used the atomic bomb. Anyone who can control the world will do it, politicians always promise what we want to hear without improving our life, they just improve our economi even if ... they got what they searched now.